DVD This Week: The Invasion

The Invasion: Nicole Kidman is a D.C. psychiatrist who uncovers an alien outbreak. The fact that this underperformed is part of the reason the Warner Bros. chairman declared that women can’t carry a movie in the lead. Rent it out of spite.

King of California: Something about Michael Douglas is unsettling. Michael Douglas tromping around in a giant fake beard trying to find hidden treasure under a Costco while Marilyn Manson’s flame Evan Rachel Wood plays the straight-arrow is even more unsettling.

Trade: Kevin Kline stars in a dark drama about the horrors of of unwilling human sex trafficking. There’s an ongoing cinematic effort to bring this issue into the public eye, and I’m behind it.

Ira & Abby: Two relative strangers get married and work out the relationship part afterwards. Finally, Robert Klein and Fred Willard in the same film.

The Comebacks: The sports-movie spoof. As if sports movies weren’t generally spoofs of themselves. As if anyone even remembers Radio.

Feel the Noise: Jennifer Lopez produced this box office dud about a rags to riches hip-hop star. J.Lo can’t buy a hit anything lately, and I doubt she’s got a Gone Baby Gone in her to recover from it..

Daddy Day Camp: This exists. THIS EXISTS. “We can’t get Eddie Murphy for the sequel, because he’s been consumed by his fetish for horrible fat suits! Get me Academy Award Winner Cuba Gooding Jr.! He’ll do anything!” Not an auspicious directorial debut, Fred Savage.