Pippa Lee Nabs Bellucci, Arkin, Gyllenhaal and Then Keanu, For Some Reason

One of these things just doesn’t belong.

The Private Lives of Pippa Lee is already starring Robin Wright Penn (or is she un-Penned now that they’re splitting? Much like Rebecca Romijn is un-Stamosed, you see), Winona Ryder and Julianne Moore. Four more people just joined the cast, but they don’t all quite fit. We’ve got three good actresses, so let’s add Maggie Gyllenhaal and Monica Bellucci, sure, that works. Then Alan Arkin as the spurning husband, bonus, yes, he’s fantastic all the time. So who, then, should fill this other slot, of the younger man that the freshly betrayed Pippa Lee will go for?

Put yourself in Rebecca Miller’s shoes - you’re the writer, you’re adapting your own novel, and you’ve directed the great film The Ballad of Jack and Rose, not to mention the fact that you’re married to Daniel Day-Lewis and thus you should have a good sense of what quality acting entails. The rest of the cast of your film so far proves that much. So how the hell does Keanu Reeves fit into this?

The man makes interesting project choices and I’m sure he’s a cool guy to hang around with, but why hasn’t everyone snapped out of his blank-eyed hypno-toad spell by now and realized that the man is a black hole of acting.? He hasn’t had a believable facial expression since Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, for the love o’ pete! What is wrong with you people?

Anyway, here’s how THR describes the assorted roles:

Arkin is the husband who leaves Wright Penn for Ryder. Bellucci will play his first wife. Reeves will play Wright Penn’s younger lover, while Gyllenhaal plays Wright Penn’s diet pill-addicted mother in flashback sequences. Moore is a lesbian novelist.

Moore is a lesbian novelist who never had time for a wife
And she’s talkin’ with Davy, who’s still in the Navy, and probably will be for life…