Dirty Sexy Money: My Father The Hero (recap)

By Jen Smith
Fancast.com

Nothing is ever what you expect on Dirty Sexy Money, and last night was no different. It’s finally Karen and Simon’s wedding day, and while Karen remains blissfully unaware of her future hubby’s schemes, Simon (Blair Underwood) is still on a mission to take over the world. Tripp, meanwhile, is being all creepy and gross toward Wrenn. Nick (Peter Krause) and Lisa have a few run-ins, but it appears that their fate is already sealed. By the end of the episode, someone gets married. But who?

Who says love can’t be bought? Karen (Natalie Zea) certainly has a price tag, but she doesn’t come cheap. Tripp and Nick are at their wit’s end with Simon’s threat to take over Darling Enterprises and say enough is enough. They head to Simon’s office and throw a blank check at him, asking him to add whatever number he wants in exchange for calling off the wedding. He’s not amused and refuses his offer. He wants the company, not the money. If they agree to give him all the company’s shares, they can have their princess back. Later that day, Karen makes a visit to Tripp (Donald Sutherland) to convince him that she truly loves Simon. Tripp knows that if he doesn’t do something soon, his little girl will get her heart broken. He has no choice but to agree to Simon’s deal. Simon is pleased, but says that until the shares are officially in his possession, the wedding is still on.

The other Darling kids are having issues of their own to deal with. Andrea isn’t responding to her treatments, and it seems that the cancer has spread considerably. Brian is in denial. He argues with the doctor, insisting on more treatments. Andrea puts her foot down and refuses. She wants to die peaceably. They still have the tiny issue of telling Brian Jr. that mommy’s going to die. Over at the Patrick/Nola/Jeremy conundrum, Patrick’s falling on his face with a potential biofuel plant in Manhattan. Mr. O’Connell doesn’t want to take Patrick up on his offer because of some bad business deals with Tripp in the past. Later, Jeremy shows up and manages to finagle an assistant job out of Patrick in an effort to get closer to Nola. Oh, how romantic.

Tripp is officially in the midst of a mid-life crisis, even if it is about thirty years late. He hasn’t dyed his hair jet black and bought a Lamborghini yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised. He asks Nick to set up a luncheon with the three of them—but asks for Nick to conveniently not show up. It seems he’s a bit enamored with the young woman, who is about a third his age. Nick meets up with Wrenn and a quaint little coffee shop, and who should they run into but Lisa? Lisa gets all snippy with Nick for taking Wrenn to “our place” and storms away like a baby, calling Jeremy on the way out to invite him to be her date to Karen’s wedding.

Back to Nick and Wrenn, he tells her about Tripp’s little plan to have a “friendly” lunch with just the two of them, and Wrenn throws up a little in her mouth. She makes it clear that it’s Nick she’s interested in, and she agrees to be Nick’s date to Karen’s wedding.

It’s only a few hours before the wedding, but Karen and Simon are spending their last moments together at his place. The computer makes a silly sound, and the screen informs him that he’s the proud new owner of a shiny new company. This would be the perfect opportunity to tell Karen that the wedding off, but he decides to be a sissy and let her go off to get ready. Nick figures out that Simon hasn’t told Karen and heads to her room to tell her himself. Karen is hoping that Nick is there to whisk her away, but her crushes that dream rather quickly. He tells her all about Simon’s deceit, but Karen seems to be more hurt by the fact that Nick was involved in the deal.

Everyone’s downstairs waiting for the wedding to start. Brian Jr. takes the time to ask him daddy if his mommy is going to die. He apparently eavesdropped on his mom’s phone call with the doctor and knows she’s sick. Brian tries to convince Brian Jr. that she’ll be fine, but the little guy ain’t buying it. This pisses Andrea off, saying that it will make it that much harder for junior when she does die. Brian’s solution? Don’t die. Oh, and he admits that he loves her. Meanwhile, Nick shows up as the bearer of bad news. He explains that there won’t be a wedding. But wait—maybe there will be a wedding after all. Brian has gotten down on one knee and proposed to Andrea. She probably figured she’s got nothing to lose, because she agrees and they get married right then and there.

Simon is at work celebrating his spectacular business deal when all hell breaks loose. It seems all the stockholders have gotten wind of Simon’s takeover and have pulled all of their stocks from the company. Basically, the company has imploded and is pretty much useless. In a moment of perfect timing, Karen walks in and blasts Simon for screwing her over. She actually loved the sleazebucket. Such a shame.

Back at the impromptu wedding, Jeremy has officially proven himself as Patrick’s assistant. It seems that Mr. O’Connell’s estranged son is a friend of Jeremy’s. Jeremy got him some kind of DJ gig in exchange for a reunion with his father. This convinced the man to take Patrick’s offer for the biofuel plant. Take that, Nola! Tripp is still making googly eyes at Wrenn, but she takes the time to set him straight. She’s making a play for Nick, not grandpa. Tripp pretends to be gracious and runs back into Letitia’s arms. Letitia, meanwhile, freaks out on the girl. She accuses Wrenn of being a gold-digger and trying to steal her husband away. Then she kicks her out in an extremely dramatic manner. Nick and Lisa run into each other, and pretty much come to a mutual understanding that they can never go back to being a lovey-dovey couple. It’s over. Nick runs into Wrenn as she’s leaving and tells her that she should run as far away from the Darlings as possible. Can’t say I disagree with that statement.

Meanwhile, Simon shows up to try and work out yet another deal with Tripp. He knows that Tripp sabotaged the shares before he handed them over, but still refuses to sell back the entire company. Tripp suggests that perhaps he could buy back only half the shares, which would make them equal partners. Why?? Tripp brings Nick into the meeting to inform him that Simon is now his new boss. Nick thinks Tripp is paying him back for stealing Wrenn away, but Tripp feigns that it’s not the reason. Which, of course, it is. Later, Nick sees Karen in the hallway and tries to apologize for everything that happened. He probably wasn’t surprised when she slapped him and told him to go to hell. In fact, it was probably a turn on.