Deep Soap: You Can’t Do That On TV

By Sara A. Bibel
Fancast.com

Genoa City Is No Peapack
There is a fascinating new article about daytime in, of all places, Portfolio magazine. It claims that CBS is about to slash the licensing fees for all of its daytime soaps. According to the anonymous CBS executive quoted, Guiding Light is on its last legs and the other three shows are barely turning a profit.

The article implies that Brad Carlton’s departure from The Young & The Restless is budget related. I think most daytime fans assumed that was a possibility. The article also says that “three other prominent characters have been axed.” After what happened to Deidre Hall and Drake Hogestyn, it’s natural to start worrying about the fate of Y&R’s veterans. But note the verb tense. The term “prominent characters” could refer to any contract character. I think it’s possible the article is referring to characters who have already departed: David, Sabrina, Adrian. I can’t imagine why CBS would give Portfolio the scoop on other cast member leaving. Everything about Y&R right now: the improved production values, the return of Eileen Davidson, the focus on stories heavily featuring expensive veterans indicates the show is managing its resources well. That doesn’t mean there won’t be cuts. I predict that a lot of people, including those who work behind the scenes, are going to end up taking salary cuts. More expensive actors are not going to be used more than their contractual guarantee. Those who earn less may be frontburner. The arrival of Y&R’s new teen scene, while a logical expansion of the cast, is also cost efficient. Though, so far Noah, Eden and Abby aren’t exactly Billy, Mac and Brittany. I think that Y&R will be all right.

As for the other CBS shows, B&B is in a unique position. It may not be that profitable in the U.S., but it’s an international sensation. The Bell family owns the show. They can, if they choose, find ways to supplement CBS’s licensing fee.

The P&G shows, on the other hand are in dire straits. This week’s ratings tell an interesting tale. Contrary to all of the sky-is-falling alarm about younger viewers leaving daytime, Y&R is up +33% season-to-date among the extremely narrow demographic of 18-24 year old women (okay, that means rising from 0.6 to 0.8) and flat in Women 18-34. Meanwhile, it’s down -12% among Women over the age of 55. Don’t think CBS isn’t pleased with this surprising strength among young women. Y&R is the dominant #1 in every single important demographic. In Women 18-49, Y&R outperforms the #2 shows General Hospital and back-from the-dead Days of Our Lives by 36%. The other three CBS shows rank #6 (B&B), #7 (ATWT) and dead last (GL). I think it’s clear which shows are in trouble.

The article’s other controversial claim is that the large number of middle-aged low income African American women who watch daytime are demographically undesirable. As someone who used to work in television research, I can tell you that the “low income” part is what turns off advertisers. It’s not just that low income people have less disposable income. It’s that, statistically, they watch more television. Advertisers put a premium on hard-to-reach demographics. That’s why television networks strive to create shows that appeal to young men. They watch less television. The same holds true, statistically, for affluent people. Shows like 30 Rock that, while not watched by huge numbers of people, are watched by a lot of wealthy people, can charge more for an ads than an equally popular show watched by more people with lower incomes. This Portfolio article is accurate, but there’s a little more to this story.

Kids Say The Darndest Things
The Nuke sex got all of the attention. But there was another sexual milestone this week. I believe we heard the first network daytime utterance of the word clitoris. From a ten year old. Tuesday’s episode of OLTL was centered around parent child interactions. I found it to be an unexpected joy. Rex’s unplanned talk about the birds and the bees with his son ended up being anything but typical. It’s the first TV sex talk I’ve seen that acknowledged the existence of homosexuality, as Rex told him that ” You see, when a guy loves a woman, or another guy — you know, whatever, whoever, it makes no difference to me. Anyway –” Then proceeded to give Shane honest answers about how he came to knock Gigi up when he was in high school.

Meanwhile, after catching his son Matthew with a joint, Bo gave his son a lecture about the evils of drugs straight out of Reefer Madness, culminating in a request that Matthew narc out his friends. He was stopped cold by Nora’s admission that she toked up in college. Matthew’s claim that his parents were hypocrites to lecture him when they drank and “alcohol is a drug,” was a spot on portrayal of the average fourteen year old. I got a kick out of Bo’s strange naivete that nobody he knows has ever used a controlled substance. Unfortunately, the sequence did end on an afterschool special note as Cole decided to take the Llanview High cliched stoner drug pusher’s advice that he take the mysterious white pills to escape from his problems.

But onto the line that made me gasp with shocked laughter like nothing since the early episode of Desperate Housewives where Bree told a dinner party that, “Rex cries when he ejaculates.” OLTL’s Rex brought Shane to Rodi’s so he could ask Gigi questions Rex didn’t think he should answer. This led to A) the revelation that Shane has no idea who Dr. Ruth is but seemed familiar with Dan “Savage Love” Savage. B) His perhaps related question to the good doctor Michael, “What’s a clitoris?” I have a couple questions of my own. What made Rex think that Gigi would enjoy explaining that to her son? Or is Rex unsure of the answer himself? No matter. One thing is for sure. If Shane already knows the answer at ten, he’ll grow up to be quite the leading man.

Ten Items Or Less

Starting today, you can watch full episodes of General Hospital right here on fancast. Check it out. Kudos to ABC for finally streaming one of their soaps on-line. The network gets points for good timing, since this is the start of the show’s latest 24-style story arc.

I’m also going to plug the NBC season premiere of Friday Night Lights. As one of the lucky few with DirecTV, I’ve already seen the entire season. It’s the rare television show that actually makes me feel better about humanity. The season finale was nearly perfect. It doesn’t give anything away to reveal that two scenes actually took place in fields. So GL’s claim that it’s production model is similar to FNL has some merit. It’s on tonight. Watch it.

Several of you wrote very thoughtful comments about my column about Nuke having sex. It seems that most of you enjoyed the scenes. I’m glad that a lot of fans got what they wanted. I want to give a special shout to Devoted Fan, who admitted she’s concerned that she can no longer watch soaps with her children because the shows often feature topics and language that aren’t appropriate for all ages. I’m not a parent. That’s probably why I tend to think of soaps as programming primarily for adults. But I can see why the numerous parents who might want to watch the shows while their kids are in the room are frustrated. There are plenty of soap scenes I wouldn’t want anyone under 12 to see. For me, it wouldn’t be Nuke. But I don’t think the violence on GH is appropriate viewing for kids. The Chloe-Daniel sex scene that aired on DOOL this week bordered on Cinemax. I’m not sure that soaps have ever been kid-friendly. I remember there being a lot more sex on the soaps during the 80s. If my Mom knew how steamy they were, she might not have let me watch. You raise a good point.

Speaking of inappropriate for young viewers, after I wrote about OLTL’s discussion of the female anatomy, I watched Thursday’s episode. It featured Dorian getting David to give up his newfound spirituality by, uh, orally pleasuring him. It featured the most hilarious use of spiritual chanting that I’ve ever seen. But I was shocked that the show was allowed to air it. I’m starting to think that ABC’s budget cuts included getting rid of standards and practices. I bet this is the next daytime clip to make The Soup.