30 Rock: Larry King

Last time on 30 Rock we were reminded that Liz, Jack and Tracy have a TV show to crank out every week. You’d never know it from the plotlines developed this season. With the breakout success of the three leads (Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan) the focus has shifted to their personal storylines, and the gang back at The Girlie Show have been left behind. That’s understandable, but the real show has lost some of its quirky charm now that Liz’s love life, Jack’s megalomania and Tracy’s money rule the writer’s room. Speaking of which, Tina was not listed in the titles as a writer, with Matt Hubbard getting the lone credit.

Nonetheless, there were some great lines…

When the show opens the roles are reversed as Jack is in a love life blue period with Elisa (Salma Hayek) and ends up asking Liz, of all people, for advice. Liz is high on her new Dr. Boyfriend (Jon Hamm, out of the picture this week) so she’s in the right mood. When pressed for the problem, Jack admits that E “keeps confusing me with this ridiculous notion that sex and love are somehow connected.” Turns out, despite all the heavy breathing these last few weeks, Jack and Elisa have yet to close the deal. This causes Liz to counsel caution, but more importantly, to whoop up the fact that “in 2009, I have done it twice more than you!” Looking for the high five, she tells a dejected Jack to “give it up to a brother.” Jack doesn’t leave her hanging.

At TGS, the staff is prepping Tracy for his shot that night on Larry King. He can talk about whatever he wants, but PLEASE, don’t forget to plug the show. ”TGS, Fridays at 10:30 on NBC.” No problem: “NGS, Fridays at T-30 on CB10.” That’s not the only thing he gets wrong. But Liz has other things to worry about right now. Somehow, she left her phone in a cab (baby daydreaming?) and the guy is holding it ransom. Scrolling through her phonebook, the cabbie (a very funny Ajay Naidu) notices Tracy Jordan is listed. When Liz admits she works with him, the cabbie’s ransom gets jacked up from 200 bucks to 2 thousand. 2K for a blackberry phone? Liz cuts her loved one loose.

Jack has had time to think over Liz’s advice and he’s ready for a big decision. Elisa tells him she’s heading off to Puerto Rico to see her family, but Jack isn’t ready to let her go. He wants to start spending quality time and catch up to Liz and Doc Goodun’, but Elisa already knows that Jack has a mistress: his job. When she pushes, though, Jack gives in and promises to drop everything at the office and spend the week with her. This relationship’s got potential, but Jack can’t help thinking of the marketing possibilities. ”We’re Jack and Elisa… Jalisa!” Thus a legend is born.

No one man is indispensable, so Jack should be able to take some time, right? Not when Tracy gets a chance to spout off anything that pops into his head. On Larry King, some breaking news comes through. The Asian stock markets are tanking and the whole world is in danger of being flushed away with it. But Tracy has the solution. ”What everyone needs to do is take a deep breath, calm down and prepare their bodies for the Thunderdome, because that is the new law.”

Larry King shows he’s still the best actor among all the talk show hosts who make cameos, with Regis Philbin still at the bottom of the pile. The show within a show had a weird, blue screen look, like he and Tracy were on different coasts, but Larry pulled it off. ”We’re here with Tracy Jordan, who just recounted, by the way, the entire plot of the movie Teen Wolf.” When NYC starts to panic over the crashing market, Tracy keeps his wits. He’s been through this before. ”It will be the 1970s all over again. People will get mean, the streets won’t be safe, there’ll be graffiti everywhere and movies will only cost $3.” Sounds like the end of the world, unless Scorcese directs. But Liz finds out she’s got a crisis of her own.

The cabbie gets past security and unlock Liz’s camera phone. When he tells her he’ll send the latest pic, a boobie shot, to everyone in her phone book, she hooks Kenneth in to going out to Queens with her to pay the bribe. He doesn’t get the urgency, but goes along as protection. Queens looks like a third world country when they get off the train. Every native is a Tracy Jordan acolyte and a convert to Larry Kingism, so Tracy’s financial advice (hide all your money) is causing a run on the bank. As Kenneth realizes the danger, he wants to escape back to New York, but Liz is on a mission. Only her plain truth forces him to go along. “It is an “adult” picture” she explains. “Adult? You mean like you driving a car and wearing a suit?” asks a befuddled Kenny.  No.. it’s a boobie pic, with sentimental value. ”I only kept it because for once they were both pointing in the same direction.” Off they go, in the same direction.

Back at Jack’s vacation hideout (his apartment) he and Elisa have finally consummated the union, when the GE execs rush in to get Jack back in the loop. The company is sinking overseas and CEO Don Geiss (an always solid Rip Torn) is AWOL. “Have you checked his mistress?” Of course. “How about his manstress?” Instant pop-cult catchphrase nomination, but nothing can tear Jack away from his new passion. Until one of the suits shows him the bottom line, dripping blood. Jack goes to change into his uniform and Elisa bolts when she realizes he hasn’t really changed at all. ”What?  People are going to die? No! You’ll just be poor like the rest of us who buy cereal that comes in a bag.” Something like that.

The writers are watching Tracy on King and overhear the tasty tidbit that he hides his money everywhere, including the office. But tearing up the joint reveals no stash. Pete calls in and gets Tracy to admit that ”the money is in the safest place in 30 Rock: Dry and warm, hard on top but soft on the bottom, and ever-changing in location but always in the same place.” Of course they rush off to the Men’s rooms…

Geiss sends Jack an envelope marked “Only To Be Opened In The Event The World Is Ending” and pops the tape into the VCR. Jonathan keeps one handy to watch Jack’s old college football heroics, which is smart, since GE doesn’t make them anymore. Does anybody? The message from Geiss is prophetic:

“If you’re watching this, you are an executive of the General Electric Corporation, and the unthinkable has happened. Capitalism is ending, either because of the Soviets or something ridiculous, like a woman President. I’m speaking to you from the year 1987, but the message is timeless: Avoid The Noid!”

As usual, everyone is overreacting. By the time Liz gets to the cab company, she’s been mugged by a gang of grade schoolers and loses all her money. Appealing to the mercenary cabbie is useless, but Kenneth hears Tracy’s riddle on TV and realizes he’s the hiding place. When he tears out the lining of his NBC Page jacket, hundred dollar bills spill out faster than a bill collector’s auto redialer and Liz gets her precious boobie pic back. Personally, I’d have held out for more than 2 Grand just to get a peek.

When Jack realizes Geiss is really a not-for-prophet, he rushes out to the airport “like Ross did for Rachel and Lemon did in real life” only to find that the chaos on the streets means no cabs, and Elisa is on the curb. Geiss’ sell out causes Jack to propose and Elisa accepts, under one condition. “I want a ring so big it gives me back problems.”

Next morning, Jack gets another videotape, this time from Elisa. Daylight makes it clear that Jack is caught up by romance, so she jets off to P.R. anyway. And this time, Tracy gets in his TGS plug perfectly when he’s interviewed on the Today show. The Asian crisis was barely a blip on the radar, but it was his wild comments that caused all the chaos in New York. If anyone had really been listening, they’d have known that Larry King had it right along. ”Tracy Jordan … saying three serious things. And then a joke.”

Looks like it’s a formula that still works.

Stay tuned for more 30 Rock news and recaps right here on Fancast.

More on These Topics: 30 Rock | Alec Baldwin | larry King | NBC | Tina Fey | Tracy Morgan