More Miley: Top 5 Teen Girl Scandals

by Quendrith Johnson
Fancast.com

With the recent Miley Cyrus flap, you’d think America had never seen its favorite teen actors screw up. Just to fix a few “Achy Breaky Hearts” out there, we compiled a list of our top 5 young femme flubs.

1) Miley Cyrus (Vanity NoFair) — Annie Leibovitz did a remarkably similar ‘babe in a blanket’ pose for the Diana Ross “A Star in Born” cover years earlier, but an underage ’star’ was injured in the shooting of the Miley Cyrus cover. Sporting Helena Bonham Carter eyes and a feral smile, the Disney golden girl took a bullet from her corporate parent for the backless, topless, strapless display. Miles of “official apologies” followed from the “Hannah Montana” star herself to the renown shooter Leibovitz disclaimer: “Miley and I looked at fashion photographs together…” (As if.) Even A-lister second generation movie star Jamie Lee Curtis had Miley’s back with a “her guardians should have protected her.” Maybe country star Dad Billy Ray was too busy checking out the other “leaked” photos of cosy Miley and the boyfriend on YouTube. Kids, you can’t beat ‘em.

2) Jamie Lynn Spears (Baby on Bored) — Nickelodeon’s accidental scandal magnet, Britney’s mini-me didn’t mean to tweak the powers that be. But when she hit them with the urine stick in December 2007, the “Zoey 101″ suits were knocked flat over the knock-up. Nickelodeon emailed Reuters the old “We respect Jamie Lynn’s decision” heard round the ‘hood. In the ensuing months, the teen Baby Mama had to fight off allegations that named Baby Daddy’s other than son-of-a paper mill worker fiance Casey Aldridge. Ding-dang-DNA. All this while shopping and getting a GED. All’s swell that ends swell: Jamie Lynn Spears is set to deliver a summer blockbuster, a girl, y’all.

3) Vanessa Hudgens (Hi-Res Musical) — Insiders were agog when the High School Musical sweetheart showed what was under that sweater, but even more shocking than the nude photos that streaked across the net last year was Vanessa’s flat-out refusal to pay the $150,000 she was being sued for by an ex-attorney. Why? Because she was 16, underage and over achieving, at the time she inked that deal in 2004. Who’s the boob now? Speaking of boobs, Miss High Res Musical’s topless trouble came in a year when the beef curtains went up on both Britney and Lindsay, rumored as notorious teenagers themselves. PS: Vanessa’s two-scoop review has not been followed by a sex tape, luckily, in an era when even dead stars such as Marilyn Monroe and Jimi Hendrix have been dogged by same.

4) Angelina Jolie-Pitt (Twisted Sista) — You’d think elder-ex Billy Bob Thornton would have dreamed this one up, but no. Before she became a UNICEF-sanctioned supermom, the Gothchild offspring of Jon Voight made waves at 16 (read: 14?) baring her lithe limbs for a smokin’ swim suit/evening wear shoot. An underage Angelina vamps to no one in particular in the photos and video footage recently unearthed by InTouch. Imagine a pre-tattooed, pre-Oscar(r)-brother-kissing newbie nymphet with time on her hands. No surprise young Angelina’s favorite bedtime companion was a little black teddy. Plus her “weapons collection.” Take that Mr. Pitt.

5) (tie) Brooke Shields (Pretty HOT Baby) + Tatum O’Neal (Paper Loon) — Once upon a time, before postpartum depression and her spat with Tom Cruise, Brooke Shields was a Baby Porn Queen. Well, let’s say she was a “Pretty Baby” at 12. Her kiddie star turn in the Louis Malle-directed brothel-house art flick with Susan Sarandon lead to a work as an underage clotheshorse for Calvin Klein jeans. By age 15, she uttered the now infamous: “do you want to know what comes between me and my Calvins? Nothing?” This seat of the pants declaration left America speechless, and when bottomless Brooke wriggled into a pair of said jeans in the video for the ad talking about “mating” and “natural selection,” well few declined Calvin’s invitation from his darling denim Lolita. The good news is, when Brooke Shields finally reached the end of her teen growth spurt at six feet tall, she could floor all comers.

Tatum O’Neal (Paper Loon) — If it was bad enough being Ryan O’Neal’s “Paper Moon” Oscar(r)-winning side-kick at 10, apparently it was even worse being Tatum O’Neal the teen. She wasn’t your average “Bad News Bear.” The “Rescue Me” cameo queen wrote the book on teenage confessions. Her “Paper Life” describes a B-movie life with an A-List father running the family into the ground. Her mother Joanna Moore tells teen Tatum: “That’s where your father has been planting marijuana, so the cops will find it and arrest me.” Unfortunately, she discovered it before the cops did, among other substances. Youngest brother Redmond O’Neal, whose mom Farrah Fawcett is kicking cancer and is only one year older than her oldest kid Kevin by John McEnroe, also earned his stripes as the resident partier during the teen years. Luckily Tatum tots are doing fine, O’Neal herself has been “Dancing with the Stars,” and even brother Redmond is cleaning up at last. Old habits die hard.

*Runner-Up: Kate Moss (Calvin DeKlein) — Yes, she was legal at 19, but looks 12 in the famous 1990’s ‘anti-supermodel’ photo shoots that ushered in the ‘waif’ generation. Young Kate Moss’s claim to fame is that she set the eating disorder ball in motion for our current crop of stars. From the stickly Olsen twins to the recovered Nicole Ritchie to Posh Spice across the pond, no female celeb has had a full meal since. Today’s ‘hottest young teen stars’ even consider food a four-letter word. Teen-edgey Moss also brought us ‘heroin” chic, professional anorexia nervosa, and tweaked a future impeached US president by appearing in her panties in a print campaign. Irony? Now Moss auctions off her old clothes for charity, including to benefit cancer patients for whom being underweight is a serious issue, and said former US President’s wife is now gunning for his old job, not the interns, thankfully.

So, should Miley Cyrus worry she that she currently holds the top spot for Teenie Bloopers… we don’t think so. Seriously, Miley, don’t worry. Stop apologizing.