Deep Soap: Love and Marriage

Everything Borrowed, Nothing Blue

It was cute.  It was sweet.  It will not go down as one of daytime’s greatest weddings, but the marriage of Guiding Light’s Bill and Lizzie was charming.  The set-up was implausible: somehow the wedding invitations had the wrong date on them.  (The budget cuts in Springfield apparently include sample invitations and proofreaders.) Given that everyone in attendance knew the bride and groom well, that shouldn’t have mattered.  Fortunately, Dinah pulled everyone together and Bill and Lizzie got married in one of Springfield’s ubiquitous fields.  Their guests sat on mismatched chairs.  It hardly seemed a wedding befitting the union of a Spaulding and a Lewis.  But it worked as a metaphor for the final year of GL itself: improvise, make do with an insufficient budget, hope for the best.   The other characters pitched in the manner of those old Mickey Rooney-Judy Garland, “Let’s put on a show in the barn!” movies.  Sure the P&G product placement in part one was tacky (Pringles?  At a soap wedding reception?  I’d like to see that on an episode of Bridezillas), but I liked the idea of everyone in town coming together to throw the couple a wedding.  Though I hesitate to make this comparison, I was reminded of the guests bringing dishes to Luke and Laura’s wedding.  Lizzie and Bill’s ceremony was a throwback to the days when a wedding was supposed to cost less than a down payment on a house.  Marcy Rylan and Daniel Cosgrove did a great job of portraying a couple who was giddy with happiness.

GL is doing its best to give the audience closure.  To that end, we got Billy proposing to Vanessa again.  As much as I enjoyed Matt and Vanessa’s relationship, they are the duo that I want to imagine living happily ever after the final credits roll.  There was a nice scene highlighting Bill and Michelle’s special friendship.  I remembered how much I used to root for them to become a couple when they were tweens.  Lizzie got to have her father walk her down the aisle.  There was little conflict in the episode, nothing that advanced the plot.  It was an episode that highlighted what made GL special:  the show’s sense of community.  It’s difficult to imagine the residents of Pine Valley or Genoa City rolling up their sleeves and throwing together a wedding.  I will miss Springfield itself, as much as the show, when it’s gone.

Goofus and Gallant

Tuesday’s General Hospital reminded me of the old Highlights magazine column.  Here’s what I learned:

• Goofus does not take no for an answer. When Sonny kissed Olivia, she pulled away. “Stop fighting it,” he said, in the style of numerous Lifetime Movie date-rapists.  So she sensibly slapped him.  Sonny smugly informed her that in high school girls slapped the boys that they liked.  That must be some crazy Bensonhurst school where knife fighting is an official extracurricular activity. Sonny, when I call you a misognyst jack-ass it’s not because I secretly want you.
• Gallant listens to women. Patrick started it last Friday. Tuesday, Spinelli got over his fear of looking foolish and, after reassurances from Maxie,  belted out a competent version of “I Want To Know What Love Is,” as part of his courtly love campaign to win Maxie’s heart. When Diane told Max that she would enjoy being serenaded, he stepped up to the plate and lip synced for her.
• Goofus cheats. Sonny’s marriage to Claudia may be a sham, but it’s legal and she may be pregnant with his child.  Yet he has no remorse for kissing Olivia.  In fact, he’s ready to aggressively pursue a romance with her.  Why Olivia would want him when she has the younger, hotter, nicer Johnny as a far more Gallant option is a question he doesn’t feel merits his consideration.
• Gallant is loyal. Patrick tells Robin he’d rather be married to her than he a rock star with groupies.  Spinelli doesn’t even notice that Sam is wearing a skimpy lingerie — while typing on her laptop in the living room — because he is with Maxie.
• Gallant doesn’t sleep alone. Patrick ended his date night with some sweet, sweet lovin’.  How could Robin possibly resist a man who was justifiably miffed because he lost the karaoke contest due to the sympathy vote?  Spinelli was so committed to the ideals of courtly love that he was ready to turn down sex.  Maxie rightly pointed out to him that making her happy meant throwing out the code.   So they had surprisingly steamy sex.
• Goofus does. I hope your criminal empire/coffeehouse keeps you warm at night, Sonny.

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