Gossip Girl: Tricks, No Treats

It’s Halloween and Gossip Girl is getting into the spirit with levitating vampires, the world’s worst Joey Ramone costume, and dozens of pretty, pretty flappers. Best of all, this episode was 100% Vanessa free.

Trick or Liquor

We first see Chuck and Blair discussing opening the club in his hotel like they’re fine again. He wants to wait until after the holidays. What happened to her betraying him last week? Did they flip the order of a couple episodes? No. He just forgave her in the interim. This strikes me as bogus until I realize that he’s just pretending he’s okay with what happened. Blair ignores his wishes and decides to open the club anyway. Apparently, she learned nothing from last week. Chuck changes his mind and decides on a Halloween opening. He hires Serena’s publicity firm and makes it clear he does not want Blair involved. Serena is determined to pull off the club opening on her own so her boss will take her more seriously. Well, she has been working there almost a month. It’s about time she was promoted. When Casey finds out, she wants to fire Serena, who quickly claims she’s doing it to get Olivia and her movie star ex Patrick back together.

Chuck is worried that he won’t get a liquor license in time. The ABC calls to let him know he has been approved. It turns out Blair went to Jack Bass for help. Whoa. Did not see that coming. And why would he have sway with the ABC? It turns out there is logic behind this plot point. Chuck drops off a gorgeous outfit for Blair and says all is forgiven. When the ABC drops off the liquor license he mentions Jack. Blair admits she contacted him. Chuck tells Blair he can’t trust her and disinvites her from the opening.

The Levitation Trick

Dan borrows the DVD of Olivia’s vampire movie, Endless Nights, from Nate. He warns Dan that the movie features steamy love scenes with her costar/ex-boyfriend Patrick Roberts. Their levitating sex scene in question is not nearly steamy as the Vampire Diaries, but Dan is predictably unnerved and feigns illness to postpone their date. Perez Hilton posts a photo of Olivia buying condoms. It seems wrong for there to be a real gossip blog on this show, but I suppose Olivia’s Hollywood fame means that she would interest more than Gossip Girl. Olivia drops by Dan’s place. She sees the DVD and figures out what happened. Olivia claims that Patrick was never really her boyfriend. It was all a publicity scam. Serena asks Olivia to pretend to get back together with Patrick for the opening. She readily agrees to Dan’s self-righteous chagrin.

The Yogurt Trick

Jenny puts on her bitch act at school demanding perfect yogurt from her minions. She asks Eric and his boyfriend Jonathan to move down on the Met Steps to maintain social order. Jonathan and Eric sit above her on purpose. She has her minions dump yogurt on Eric. That’s cold. Eric rats her out to Lily. Lily orders Jenny to bring Eric to the club opening and ger her friends to apologize.

The Most Pathetic Trick

Rufus is determined to pass out candy on Halloween. He puts on a Joey Ramone outfit with a horrible wig that looks like he stole it off a Hasidic woman. Lily hires kids to show up so he won’t be disappointed. That is unbelievably lame, even for Rufus.

The Cop Trick

At the opening, which nicely starts with black and white shots of everyone in 20s clothes. Jenny tells her minions she has a plan to humiliate Eric at the opening. I hate Jenny. Blair would have figured out a way to make Eric popular while enhancing her own power. Jenny is a disloyal bitch. She pretends to reconnect with Eric while the minions egg Jonathan. She’s also an unimaginative bitch. Jenny actually expects Eric to understand her need to protect her Queen Bee status and be grateful for her friendship when they are away from school. Instead he rightly shuns her.

Blair gets a bouquet of flowers from Jack revealing that the liquor license was fake. She shows up at the opening to tell Chuck. Chuck already knows and has come up with the same plan. She apologizes, explaining she wanted him to see that he needed her. They make up for real.

When Patrick arrives, Olivia is with Dan. She admits to Dan she really did date Patrick. The cops show up to shut down the club. Chuck called them, to generate publicity. Serena is pissed that they ruined her photo opp, but rescues the situation by unexpectedly announcing Olivia and Dan are dating. Serena announces she’s Patrick’s girlfriend now.

Chuck decides to turn the club into a real speakeasy with a secret entrance. Blair asks Serena to be the club’s publicist. She refuses because she is still not over Blair ruining her party plans, which seems unbelievable given their relationship.

Next week: Serena shove Blair’s face into a cake! I am now fully on board with this contrived feud.

Quotes

I was thinking an 80s theme. Although shoulder pads can be overwhelming on my delicate frame. - Blair

It’s not like Chuck hasn’t kissed a guy before. He said so himself. - Blair

Tell those pathetic trick-or-treaters there’s no pre packaged joy for them here. - Blair

In order to be a team, we need to focus our duplicity on others. - Chuck

I’m giving you a chance to leave that Lizzie Grubner wanna be before you get runover. - Blair

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