'I'm A Celebrity' Shockers!

by Bob Hellman
Jun 11th, 2009 | 1:34 PM | Comments 2

With two weeks under its belt, NBC’s ‘I’m A Celebrity‘ is pulling in ratings that really define the viewership. MTV is running marathons with bonus footage on Sundays (up 87% than their average) and it’s the number one show (over 1.6 million views) on NBC.com. Needless to say, the two share it gets on network television hardly represents the fan base.

Missing Speidi, the two hour show was about 30 minutes too long. That says a lot since any show on television has to be incredible to hold someone’s full attention for 2 hours nowadays. But we were not Montag-less. We left off with new castaway, Holly Montag, older (and way, way cooler) sister to Heidi, joining the group. Showing that she is practically the exact opposite of her sis by not belting out so much as one hallelujah, Holly couldn’t wait to participate in the challenges for her team. She also divulged that she and her mom had battles with Spencer when Heidi first brought him home. Shocking!

Janice Dickinson immediately went into “can’t wait to network” mode, as she attached herself to Holly once she realized that the reality show starlet was the favorite of the market she longs for. At least that’s according to Daniel Baldwin. He really dislikes Janice and all she represents as a spoiled ex-super model. During a private talk Daniel put it quite bluntly to Holly, “when you are a 54 year old ex-model and sees someone who is not in her demographic… She wants to be your buddy.” She didn’t really seem to take his warning to heart. But I didn’t care. Holly is wearing a bikini half the time and that’s enough for me.

Wanting to prove something, Janice finally stepped up to a challenge and partnered with her much younger BFF, Holly. In the other corner representing the men, we had wild Danny Baldwin and Lou “La Bamba” Phillips. The challenge took one of their more unoriginal ideas and paired it with a great new one. In a rip-off of the game Operation, Holly and Lou had to remove stars from hollowed logs - using tongs - without touching the sides. If the tongs touched the logs, their teammate who was lying on a metal plate got shocked. Wicked cool. Danny Baldwin volunteered to be the shock victim, telling Lou Diamond “I can take a lot of electricity.” How in the world would he know this about himself?

But watching Janice get zapped when Holly missed was priceless. Especially when Holly zapped Janice for the first time, and the shock almost restored Janice’s face to its beauty of yesteryear. The ladies won that challenge, as well as the next one involving sawing a log and cracking a code to unlock a makeshift safe. When stuff gets way too boring, please stick to fun stuff like Janice getting electrocuted!

Watch ‘I’m A Celebrity’

Here’s a capsule of some of the more priceless comments, thoughts and also the way for NBC to make I’m A Celebrity take over the headlines for at least another week:

Patti Blagojevich said of Holly Montag, “No one really recognized her.” Uh-huh. Just like you a week ago.
Janice’s reason for not doing the dishes? “I’ve been famous since 1974” plus “I’m doing my makeup and when a super model does her makeup the world stops.”

Stephen Baldwin putting a rat in Janice’s backpack and calling John Salley “dawg” every second.
Danny Baldwin smoking cigarettes? Is there a 7-11 on the island?

John Salley describing a Janice meltdown: “when you see crazy coming, you cross the street.”

Check out cast photos

Sanjaya has so much cream on his body from bug bites that I’m itchy watching him. Put a shirt on for crying out loud. You have no idea what kind of diseases you can pick up.

The time without proper moisturizer is taking a toll on Janice. She is looking more and more like Willem Dafoe each day.

The mood at the end during the live bit is interesting. Almost like they are waiting for the cameras to shut off and the chips and dip to be served.

There is however one - or two - things missing from this show. Speidi. As annoying as they were, they brought excitement. And this leads me to the perfect way to fix ‘I’m A Celebrity’ before the show finishes its run. What’s broken on this show? Speidi’s gone because they can’t handle living in the jungle. So fire the hosts and replace them with Speidi! Boom! I know, it’s a genius idea. Note to NBC, I’ll be stopping by this afternoon to pick up my consultant check.

Check out Holly joining the group