Desperate Housewives: Mama Spent Money When She Had None

Mary Alice voiceovers that this episode will be about money. The Scavos are have-nots. Tom had to sell his classic Mustang to pay for Porter’s legal fees and the declining fortunes of the restaurant. In contrast, Bree’s book is a best seller. She celebrated by buying a product-placed Lexus. Lynette can barely bring herself to feign happiness. Katherine gossips to the others about Lynette’s financial difficulties.

More have nots: Susan enrolls MJ in a fancy private school, Oakridge, that has a higher tuition than she expected. Mike can’t swing his share. Susan confides her book editor just quit and she’s broke, too. She learns that Mike gave Katherine a pearl necklace. Susan tries to steal the necklace only to end up getting busted. Susan tells Katherine about her tuition difficulties. They confront Mike. He reveals they’re fake. Mike is hurt that she thought he’d blow their son’s tuition on jewelry. He’s wroking his butt off. She’s the one who isn’t earning her share. Susan attempts to get a teaching job at the school for the tuition discount, but there aren’t any available. Susan tells the headmaster that MJ needs small classes. She’ll be a janitor if that’s what it takes to get him into the school. He offers her a position as a teacher’s assistant. I like that DH is acknowledging that middle class people are struggling now. Although I find it hard to believe that the Fairview public schools are leaving children behind.

The new haves: Carlos tells Gabby he got a big bonus and wants to take her to The Palm for their anniversary to celebrate. She plans to wear the dress she had on when he proposed. He wonders if she can still fit into it. She can’t zip it. She decides to join Edie’s fitness boot camp. The instructor is a hard-ass who punishes women who talk about carbs. Gabby can’t handle the regimen. When she tries to quit, he brings the class to her lawn. She goes back into her house after telling him off. Edie blasts her for being a spoiled brat. They came to support her. Gabby rejoins the group. She looks fantastic in the dress. She sincerely thanks the seamstress for her help.

Bree gives Lynette 20 grand to help her. Lynette doesn’t want to accept it as a gift, but offers her 15% of the pizza restaurant as an exchange. Worst.idea.ever. She offers to throw Bree a party in her honor. Bree instead turns one of Lynette’s “dismal” Thursday nights into a book signing. There, Bree is upset that Lynette’s staff is preparing her recipes in ways she considers substandard. Bree takes over in the kitchen, throwing out the pizza’s Lynette made. I’m on Bree’s side here. She has a right to supervise the preparation of her recipes. Lynette accuses her of lording it over everybody because she’s done well. Bree offers to teach her to be more detail oriented. Bree is being condescending, but she’s right. Lynette was great at advertising. She’s a big idea person. Bree excels as a foodie. If Bree ran a restaurant, it would succeed. Lynette claims Bree just got lucky, which is ridiculous. Lynette accidentally rear ends her car. She pays her for the damage and tells her she’ll pay back the 20 grand when she can. Bree rips up the check.

Bob tells Lee that Dave was the only witness who linked Porter to the club. He finds Dave as creepy as the viewers do. Lee tells Tom what Dave did. Tom punches Dave. He claims he was grilled by the police and thought he saw Porter. When Tom takes another swing at him, Dave grabs him from behind then insists they can work things out. Tom disagrees; he doesn’t know who Dave is. Edie asks Dave what the biggest difference is between their marriage and his first marriage. He claims that his first marriage was a fairytale he thought would last forever, whereas their marriage is more realistic because he knows it won’t last forever.

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