Desperate Housewives: That is the Definition of Bad Children’s Party

I am starting to think Desperate Housewives has revealed way too much of the mystery too soon. We already know that Julie was having an affair with Dominic and the Bolens are using a fake name. All that’s left is finding out why they went on the run in the first place and who attacked Julie. My guess is that it has to be either Angie or Katherine.

Julie comes home from the hospital and tells Dominic they are through. Danny tells Dominic that if he sees him with Julie again he will tell Angie. He calls his bluff and says that he’ll tell her now, saying he’ll be more upset that Danny didn’t tell her than that he cheated. Based on the weird dynamic between them, I wonder if Dominic and Angie have a marriage of convenience. Here’s where it gets interesting: Danny loans Julie the family gun for protection. The poor kid should read Chekov. This is not going to end well.

Bree tells the wives that she had to fire Katherine because if her unstable behavior. Bree mentions Katherine hitting on Mike, assuming that he told Susan. Mike doesn’t want Susan to make the situation worse. Susan and Katherine get into an argument at a neighborhood watch meeting. When Julie hears a noise, Susan ends up grabbing the gun from her and shooting through the window. She grazes Katherine in the shoulder. Whoops! Or not. Maybe Katherine was going to finish Julie off. Everyone runs outside to see what is going on. Danny tells his parents that he loaned out their gun. Dominic freaks because the gun is in their real names. That is interesting. Angie proves she’s the smartest wife on the block by telling Katherine that she thinks Mike is still into her. If she wants to look good in his eyes she should not call the police. Dominic steals the gun back. Angie tells Susan she talked Katherine out of calling the police. So now Angie is both Katherine and Susan’s heroine. Nice work.

In the funniest story of the episode, Juanita’s friend Rachel hurts herself while playing at the Solis house. Her mother Laura is upset Gabrielle left her unattended and bars Rachel from the Solis house. Laura tells the rest of the neighborhood to keep their kids away from Gabrielle. Everyone begs off Juanita’s birthday party. Gabrielle goes to the playground and talks up Juanita’s party in front of the kids, saying there will be a clown, a bouncy house and a monkey. All the kids demand to go. At the party, she forbids the monkey wrangler to let him nap. The monkey attacks the clown, giving all the kids a traumatic experience — except the non plussed Juanita and Celia. Ha!

Karl and Bree’s latest motel room tryst in interrupted by a maid. She overhears Bree on the phone with Orson and realizes Bree is having an affair. When she makes a snarky remark, Bree does not leave her a tip. Being Bree, she cannot leave well enough alone. She goes back to the motel and tells the maid she does not appreciate her attitude. She tells her that she has a lousy husband. At this point I thought the maid would start blackmailing Bree. But the maid borders on Magic Black Woman as she relates a sad tale of losing a good husband because she got bored and had an affair. As a consequence of her adulterous ways, she is now reduced to scrubbing toilets in a motel. Here is the problem with this analogy: Orson is not a good man. He is a kleptomaniac ex-con who is blackmailing Bree into staying married to him. If there is a justification for cheating on your spouse, Bree has it. Nonetheless, she feels guilty. Though not so guilty that she is willing to end things with Karl.

Karen asks Lynette to hire Roy as a handyman since he needs money. Lynette resents that he seems to consider Tom to have authority over her. Here we go. Another plot about Lynette being a controlling shrew, though I may add that as the sole breadwinner for the family she is presumably paying Roy’s fee and has every right to dictate where he hangs the birdhouse. Tom, like most men who marry women who quote unquote wear the pants gets to shirk a lot of responsibility. Roy says he likes to treat Tom with respect, unlike Lynette. She fires him. To my surprise, Tom tells Roy that Lynette respects him, explaining that she grew up without a Dad and with an alcoholic Mom and now she is a control freak. He allows her to feel she is in control so she will feel safe. I had never thought about Lynette that way, nor realized that Tom has that much insight into his wife. Now I hope the writers will come up with something new for these characters.

Quotes

If you had taught your kid how to tuck and roll on impact we wouldn’t be having this conversation. - Gabrielle, to Laura

At his age he should be glad to have something keeping him besides formaldehyde. - Karen, on Roy

A monkey almost killed a clown. That is the definition of a bad children’s party. - Carlos

This would be a really great place for you to jump in and tell me I’m not a castrating bitch. - Lynette to Tom

More on These Topics: Desperate Housewives