Eastwick: The Mourning Period

This episode of Eastwick is all about grief and mourning and moving on. That makes sense, given that it involves the death of a major character. What does not make sense is why all of the men in this episode are obsessed with women’s bodily functions.

The Curse

If you had Eastwick’s Chad in your Fictional Character Death Pool, congratulations. He was indeed crushed under the Daryl statue. RIP, smalltown hottie. Your death may win you a posthumous Darwin award. Roxie dreams she is in bed with Chad. He tells her he has a last request: follow the signs. Chad’s mother doesn’t want Roxie at the funeral because it’s for immediate family only. So Roxie starts searching for signs.

She finds a hammer with a post-it on it that says, “return to Daryl.” She finds him walking across hot coals. When Roxie confides her fear that she is cursed to kill the men that she loves, he makes this lengthy speech about how women’s periods are referred to as the curse but it’s why women can create life. First of all, he’s confusing menstruation with ovulation. Second, unless this is supposed to imply that Daryl is even older than we thought, I don’t think it’s been called the curse in about 100 years old. Third, there’s something really disgusting about a pervy guy talking about periods. It seems out of place on such a girlie show.

Roxie goes to Chad’s funeral against his parents’ wishes. When his Dad tries to drag her away, she accidentally pushes him into an open grave. Whoops! Roxie really is a danger to men. Roxie meets a woman with a peace sign t-shirt who turns out to be Chad’s guitar teacher. He was trying to learn a song for Roxie called “Release Yourself.” She asks Daryl for help in doing just that. He suggests she should sleep with him. Are you sure, Daryl? She might be experiencing the feminine curse. Roxie realizes she needs to figure it out on her own. She listens to Chad’s song as she packs up his stuff. Poor Roxie.

Beyond The Grave

Joanna acts like being trapped in a coffin and nearly burned alive has not affected her in the least. Joanna learns her job at the newspaper has been filled by a hot guy named Max. There’s an embarrassing moment where he pulls her tampons out of what his now his desk. What is it with this episodes and the period jokes? It makes me instantly dislike the otherwise awesome Max. He wants to do an article about Joanna’s ordeal. Apparently unaware of the death of the newspaper industry, he offers to hook her up with jobs on bigger papers where he used to work. Joanna tells everyone she has telekinetic powers, though she is no longer able to make them work. Penny is concerned by Joanna’s nonchalant attitude towards unemployment. Max suggests she recreate the emotions she felt when she had the power to move objects with her mind. They go to a convenient carnival (why are there always near-by carnivals on TV?) Joanna attempts to conquer her fear of the ferris wheel. She uses her powers to persuade the ride operator to stop the wheel when they are at the highest point then opens the safety latch when they are on top. He closes it. He thinks she is on a suicide mission and encourages her to seek therapy. Joanna realizes she’s right. She tells Penny how scared she is and how much her life sucks.

The First Wave Witches

Eleanor sees Daryl in a commercial for the Eastwick brewing company, runs into the street and nearly gets hit by a truck. At the hospital she asks Kat to heal her scrapes, recognizing her as someone who shares her gift. She flees when Kat mentions Bun. Kat takes Bun to Eleanor’s house, explaining she has amnesia. Though the two older women have a beef, Eleanor agrees to restore her memory. Eleanor has a garden and five kids, just like Kat. Does this mean Bun parallels Roxie or Joanna? Eleanor plunges some lengthy needles into Bun’s neck. Red ants scurry out. It’s pretty disgusting. Alternative medicine really does work miracles. Bun’s memory returns. She and Eleanor agree they will have to kill Daryl again. Now we’re talking. I can’t wait to meet Middle Aged Witch Number Three.

Quotes

Denial is adorable for about ten minutes. Then it’s just dumb. - MAx

Where would we be without negative thought? - Max

Floating on a rainbow cloud of marshmellow bunnies. - Joanna

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