Harper’s Island: “Thwack”

This is the fifth episode of the show, and I still don’t remember all of the characters’ names. Maybe that’s why it got exiled to Saturday night.

Abby, still in her clothes from the prior night, wakes up at Jimmy’s. Her Dad shows up. Awkward! Jimmy invites Abby to join them on their planned man date to the diner. Sheriff Dad wants Abby to look through her mother’s belongings. She lets herself in to the empty house. She finds the wall covered with articles about the killings. She doesn’t tell her father that she saw it. He apologizes for everything he said to her before she moved to L.A. Abby tells Jimmy that her father is still chasing John Wakefield.

JD encounters creepy young Madison. She’s thrilled to help him set off firecrackers.

Trish and Big Daddy Thomas go bike riding in the woods. They bicycle over a trip wire, setting in motion a trap that sends a log hurtling towards them. Their bikes go off the road. Neither is injured. On the hike back into town, he admits he doesn’t trust Henry. Patricia retaliates by blabbing that Katherine is cheating on him with Richard. A man unleashes a guard dog on them. They hide in a dumpster. Thomas manages to kill the dog with a broken bottle. He asks Patricia not to tell anyone else about Katherine until after the wedding. The dog’s owner, a guy with a half burned face, finds the dog’s body. The Harper’s Globe website, reveals that the man is Cole Harkin, one of Wakefield’s victims. If you just watch the show, there’s no way of knowing who he is. I’m all for immersive media experiences, but you shouldn’t have to do this much work to figure out what’s happening on a mediocre TV show.

Meanwhile Henry is stuck making numerous wedding decisions alone. Don’t people normally pick out the napkin rings months before the reception? Nobody can find the minister. There is a raccoon carcass, covered with flies, on the church alter. Henry tells the sheriff about the deer carcass that was in his room. Henry finds a firecracker on the church floor. He asks Madison about it. She says she hasn’t seen JD all day, which is different from saying she wasn’t at the church. Henry confronts JD. He tells Henry he has one more surprise.

Malcolm has a nightmare about witnessing Booth get struck by lightning. He wakes up and hears the shower running. Nobody’s there. Danny leaves a voicemail message for Booth. Malcolm suggests that maybe somebody saw Booth burying the money. These guys have not seen Shallow Grave. Malcolm makes a tearful speech at Booth’s grave, vowing to give Booth’s share of the money to his mother. The other guys think Booth either stole the money or was killed by the guy who killed Hunter.

A deputy finds the reverend’s hearing aid in the woods. His mutilated body in the lake. The wedding rehearsal starts. There’s a funny moment where everyone realizes how many people are missing. When Abby turns on the light switch, a big light falls off the ceiling. appearing to land on Thomas.

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