Stylista: Minimum Page (recap)

By: Jen Smith
Fancast.com

Stylista is, like, the total epitome of unwarranted drama. These kids bring a new meaning to the phrase. Last week, Cologne was sent home thanks to Kate playing the blame game, and this week she feels the wrath. Ashlie just about blows a blood vessel with her crying fit, while Megan just stands back and rolls her eyes. William, who is still totally faking that British accent, decides to argue everyone’s fashion experience. Thus begins an argument of who’s done what, and who knows whom, and who is more awesome. Apparently these kids forget that none of them have a massive amount of experience or else they wouldn’t have to resort to a poorly-produced CW reality show in order to get a job. But, what do I know?

Anne Slowey is not only important, she’s also fabulous. In order to make a statement at the Hamptons, the contestants are given a challenge to put together an outfit for her that can transition from day to night. They’re given a thousand bucks and 30 minutes. (Yes, you read that right… a grand for ONE outfit. Slightly ridiculous, I have to say.) The winner gets to pick the teams for the editorial challenge. Ann is largely unimpressed by everyone’s outfits. William gives her a shiny neck, Ashlie picks a bad color, and Megan doesn’t match her skin tone. Even though Devin tried to spend $3,000 on her outfit, she ended up winning because of a skinny belt. Go figure.

More drama unfolds at home. Megan tells Devin that it’s unlikely a 19-year-old girl with no experience will win the show. Side note: Megan’s only 22, but apparently she’s performed open heart surgery, lowered taxes for the poor, and discovered Jimmy Hoffa’s body. Dyshaun jumps in with his own haterade, saying that Devin brings nothing to the table. Why all the bullying?

The next day, they get the details for their editorial challenge. It’s featuring a dress by designer Tory Burch. They have to style the background environment with three elements: an identifiable theme, a design that won’t detract from the clothes, and a captivating title. Easy enough. Because Devin won the challenge, she chooses the teams. Team One- Ashlie, Kate, Danielle, and Megan. Team Two- William, Johanna, Devin, and Dyshaun. Oh, and two people are sent home this week. There is a god.

Team Hate is already at odds with each other. They all decide on a minimalist approach, except for Kate who thinks it’s cheating. They remind her that they don’t have a lot of resources, so minimalist will have to do. Danielle attempts to mediate, to no avail. Kate decides to just go along with whatever they want, but she’ll just throw them all under the bus in the judging room when they lose. Team Great also decides on minimalist, but are annoyed when Devin loves everything and can’t make a decision.

Naturally, once everyone’s home again, the claws come out. Everyone’s gossiping about Kate behind her back and forgets that she’s capable of hearing. She confronts them about it, and none of them seem to have an issue with the chatter. Danielle speaks up for the first time ever and starts screaming at Kate from nowhere. They even make fun of Kate for liking Playboy… like that’s relevant in any way. This sends Kate a little over the edge, so she calls her mom for comfort. I hate to say this—but her mom is a total moron. She basically told her daughter to give up, quit, and hop on a plane for home. Way to be supportive, ma. Thanks for letting her live her dream. I can see where Kate gets her insanity.

The following morning, Kate has decided to stay, and sighs of relief are had by all. The teams get three hours to gather the items for the photo shoot. Team Great has decided to go with some faceless mannequins as their backdrop. Back at the studio, they’ve put the white figures in front of a white backdrop, and I worry for them. Dyshaun decides to take control, calling William’s ideas too “out there.” William, however, was against the light-up table but was overruled. That will probably be a mistake. Their shoot goes surprisingly well, though. Team Hate, however, is not meshing so well. Kate and Ashlie want to go with a retro look, but Megan doesn’t like the old TV they want to buy. She thinks it’s unoriginal. The photo shoot is just as rocky, and so much fighting goes down that Megan actually storms out. That’s the spirit!

Anne Slowey is joined by Joe Zee, the creative director, and Tory Burch, the designer. Team Hate is first up. Their concept was “Retro Revival.” Everyone immediately pins the TV idea on Kate except for Megan, who wanted something less literal. It turns out, they were both right. Tory wasn’t thinking retro when she designed the dress, but she liked the concept. Anne, however, did agree that it was a little too literal and not modern enough. Team Great was next, and presented their “Gossip Girl” theme with an overabundance of pride. The judges weren’t as ecstatic. They liked the collaborative effort, but didn’t like the headless mannequins in the background. Team Hate wins, and two players from Team Great have to go home. To no one’s surprise, Devin is sent home because she didn’t have enough of a role in the team. William is also out, mostly due to the fact that Elle upholds a strict “no fake accents on private property” rule. Five down, five to go.