The Bachelor: Week 5 - Sleepy In Seattle

Last night on The Bachelor the dust was finally settling after the mud storm Jason Mesnick kicked up last week when he broke all the rules and sent Megan packing by refusing to give up the last rose. As Jason puts it, “I knew I was coming home and I wanted these 5 women to come with me.” Ouch. Sorry Megan. He’s just not that into you. But at least we know what he’s thinking.

As the episode opens, the 5 lucky ladies (Stephanie, Jillian, Melissa, Naomi and Molly) listen excitedly as Chris Harrison lays out the week’s events. He assures everyone there will be plenty of dates to go around and no roses. A sigh of relief. Then the kicker. They’re all gonna be Sleepless In Seattle. (I couldn’t help thinking that the producers may have picked Jason just for the tie in to the weepy chick flick - they even claim his “actual house” is a virtual stand-in for the Tom Hanks houseboat cottage… I don’t think so. Too many potential stalkers have already been given the boot.) So after some squeals of delight, it’s off to meet Ty. And, oh yeah… Jason.

The editing is following a new trend this time. The tip-off. That’s gotta mean something goes wrong. After the ladies arrive at their swanky hotel, Jason drops off the first date card for Melissa. And as the montage slips by, we get a glimpse of what the date will be all about. What? No surprise? There’s a romantic dinner, a helicopter ride… a waterfall. Jason clues us in before hand. Then we see a glimpse of Ty putting up a fuss about Daddy going away again and before the commercial break, Melissa is called to the phone.

Now I get it. And so does Mel when Jason explains the date is off. But, he graciously offers an evening at home instead. The girls swoon with jealousy. Jillian especially. She’s already shared Jason’s tent and doesn’t want anyone else camping out with her man. Melissa packs her stretchy pants and heads over to the boat.

When she gets there she goes straight into Mommy mode by picking up the dishes and throwing out the trash. Of course, several bottles of wine are conveniently at hand and as we know already, these girls know their way around a corkscrew. After Ty is put down, Mel gets a peek at the sleeping angel and a lot of caressing on the couch. Still my number one pick. But I see the pinky ring is back in the jewelry chest.

Next day is a group date with Jillian, Stephanie and Molly as they chug upriver on a ferry boat ride. The real SiS houseboat floats past and its occupants are already trained to wink the lights. That must be a real pain in the ass. Stephanie takes the wheel with Jason and the lighting actually makes her look very beautiful. But the white feathered boa vest and sparkly mascara make me question just how bottomless her wardrobe trunk must be. Still, Jason seems to be going for it.

They wind up at a radio station for an interview with Dr. Marcia Fieldstone… er, uh sorry, that’s Jackie and Bender. Jason says he needs some outside advice before he makes his pick and the jocks at Z100 are a natural choice for wise counsel. They immediately set up a blind kissing contest and to Jason’s credit, he nails each one.

Next day, Naomi FINALLY gets her one-on-one and this time, Ty must already be sleeping in Seattle because the date goes off spectacularly. A biplane trip over the top of the Space Needle is followed by a rock climbing jaunt at a mega-sports store. Either the producers have cleared the streets of the city or no one actually lives in Seattle because everywhere they go, there is not another living soul in sight. It’s you and me against the world. Now that’s romantic.

At dinner Jason picks at the bones of Naomi’s home life where she cringingly reveals several embarrassing facts about her mom. Apparently commitment is a problem in her family. The wine has finally flowed too freely and Jason is visibly turned off. It doesn’t stop him from donning his spelunking gear as he explores Naomi’s cavernous tongue. Hey, the room is rented for a few hours yet.

The next day, just as the rose ceremony is about to fly, Jason pulls Naomi into the back room for one more heart-to-heart. He’s gotta be sure she has no mommy-phobias. She assures him that she’s ready to settle down, so Jason makes his move. This time there’s no holding back a rose as Stephanie gets nothing but a thorn. Stephanie - the tribe has spoken.

I felt bad for her. Jason seems to have been leading her on. I never saw any chemistry there and Steph was a bit of a whacky dresser. But she was the most… mature, shall we say?

So, it’s down to the Final Four - Molly, Jillian, Naomi (in a squeaker) and of course - Melissa.

Next week it’s off to the four corners of the earth for Jason to Meet The Parents. Let’s hope there are no CIA operatives amongst the group - I can’t take any more movie references.

Stay tuned for more of The Bachelor next Monday at 8:00 on ABC.

We’ll be watching on Fancast.

More on These Topics: ABC | Chris Harrison | Jason Mesnick | The Bachelor