The Big Bang Theory: Premiere (recap)

After suffering through hoards of summer programming, I’m pleased to have The Big Bang Theory back… with a bang. Penny and Leonard are climbing the many floors of their building while Leonard explains that Pink Berry is neither pink nor has berries. Discuss. Once outside their respective apartments, Leonard gains the balls the go in for a goodnight kiss. That’s when he spots a (not so) hidden camera. Mid-liplock, he tries to move Penny out of view, and she misconstrues that he’s getting too fresh. They both agree to slow things down and wing it. After a peck on the check goodnight, Leonard storms into the apartment and tells his friends “Bite me.” Ah, if only I were his friend… and took things way too literally. Anyway, Raj, Howard, and Sheldon agree that his date was lame and that he crashed and burned. Not true, says Leonard, because he didn’t even have to refer to his list of impromptu conversation starters. I secretly wonder if my editor would let me write a blog about what I think those index cards say. Probably something like: Impromptu Conversation Starter #1—Who would win in a fight between Xena: Warrior Princess and Princess Lea? Impromptu Conversation Starter #2—Discuss alternative energy sources for transportation, such as vegetable oil vs. electric.

The next day, Penny runs into Sheldon in the laundry room. He’s folding his shirts with one of those folding boards. So perfect for his character. Penny asks him if Leonard has ever dated a regular girl. Sheldon presumes she’s not referring to digestive regularity. No, she says, has he ever dated someone who’s not a brainiac? He says there was that one time a few years ago when he dated a PhD in French Literature. I guess compared to a Physicist that’s pretty low on the brainiac totem pole. Penny’s worried that Leonard would get bored with her. So worried, in fact, that she lied to him and told him she graduated from community college so he wouldn’t think she’s a loser. Sheldon is confused how that would make her not seem like a loser. Nevertheless, she makes him promise to keep her secret. He freaks out. Apparently he’s, like, the worst liar ever. That I believe.

On her way to work, Leonard and Sheldon run into Penny. She blows off Leonard’s request for a second date, and just like any true friend would do, Sheldon follows Penny to work to request she let him out of their secret pact. She tells him to just forget she said anything. He responds that his mind hasn’t forgotten anything since the day his mother stopped breast feeding. (It was a drizzly Tuesday.) His solution? Move out. At his apartment, he tells Leonard the big news and goes to pack. Raj and Howard show up from a day of necrophilia (you had to have seen the show to get the joke) and Sheldon emerges with his pre-packed bag. Apparently, having an overnight bag on standby is recommended by the Department of Homeland Security… and Sarah Connor. He impedes himself on Raj’s apartment for night, but after a brief scene where Sheldon insults Raj’s favorite Bollywood movie actress, Raj drops off Sheldon at Howard’s place. “Tag. You’re it,” he says. Sheldon annoys the crap out of Howard by talking instead of sleeping. He tries to count cat women (Halle Berry, Eartha Kitt, etc) to fall asleep. It doesn’t work. Howard then decides to feed him warm milk with a handful of his mom’s Valium in it. That only makes it worse. In his state of drug-induced delirium, Sheldon is dropped off to Leonard in the last round of tag.

On a side note, Jim Parsons was excellent as a drugged person. Super funny. Anyway, Sheldon lets it slip that he’s been keeping a secret: “Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is OK with it, but we can’t tell dad.” Oh wait, there’s another secret too. He spills the beans about Penny’s lie and her paranoia about not being smart enough for Leonard. Leonard says that’s ridiculous, and Sheldon replies that Leonard’s not too smart for Penny because everyone knows his work is derivative. Touché.

The final scene of the night was Leonard admitting to Penny that he knows her secret. He tries to make her feel better by offering up pamphlets of Pasadena City College… a place for fun, a place for knowledge. She’s insulted (as she should be… boys, take notes) and wonders why she has to have a fancy degree to be good enough for him. He says it’s not that fancy. “So it’s fine with you that I’m not smart?” she wonders. Absolutely, he says. And the door slams in his face. That is a fine example of what not to do when trying to get into the pants of a girl much, much hotter than you.

More on These Topics: Big Bang Theory | Recap