Watching: Diary of a Call Girl (recap)

By Jen Smith
Fancast.com

[watch Call Girl video]

I’m pretty sure Billie Piper can pull off just about any outfit. [see photos] Tonight’s Secret Diary of a Call Girl getup is no exception. Belle is about to enter the most exclusive adult party in the country, which she would want to attend even if she weren’t a call girl. She makes a concerted effort to stand out in her black mini-dress, black bob wig, and black feather accents. Very goth, very chic, very hot. She surrenders her phone at the door and enters with her date for the evening, a Russian businessman named Alexander. Belle leads him into the room where the real party goes down (a.k.a. round beds, gauze curtains, and handfuls of condoms), but he wants to wait until they get back to his place. She’s obviously disappointed she can’t get it over with and move on to the real fun.

The two end up mingling with the other adults and Belle recognizes one of her favorite authors, Jay Lorre. She’s like a moth to a flame with this man and immediately strikes up a conversation. Alex sees their flirtation but nixes any sex. Then we hear some bells ringing and while I think school’s about to start, everyone else gathers ‘round for some kind of stage act. It’s a woman covered in balloons, which she pops one at a time in a seductive manner. Alexander is enthralled. He must not get out much. Meanwhile, Belle sees her opportunity to slip away and make out with Jay on the giant round bed. Jay’s lady friend joins in on the fun as well and shows a lot of attention to Miss Belle. Apparently, call girls can have a guilty conscious, because she remembers her client. She promises to ditch him and meet up with the duo later for some in-depth, girl-on-girl-on-guy action.
Once she’s back with Alex, he’s starting to get pretty turned on by the sensual surroundings. Before he can telling her everything he wants to do to her, she bails out of their arrangement citing “personal reasons.” It’s supposed to work every time. I’ll keep that in mind. She leaves, but he looks like he’s about to cry. Poor guy. She meets up with Jay and company but, thanks to poor timing, has a million messages on her phone. This time she actually has to bail for personal reasons. It seems her sister has had a baby! It was pretty much the only thing that would have stopped her from having the best sex of her life.

At the hospital, Hannah meets up with Ben and the rest of the family. They’re all shocked by her dress, which she claims is due to a work function (she’s supposed to be a legal secretary). They pretend to buy her excuse, but Ben sees her black wig in her purse. After a few bonding moments with her new little nephew (who is so freakin’ cute it makes me want to have a baby, but then I realize that I’m too young and too selfish and too immature and remember that I shouldn’t try to fill my life with the love of another human being and that I should love myself instead), Ben drives Hannah home. As a joke he tries on the wig. She is not amused. At home, Hannah strips her clothes off. This was the point in time where I clear my throat for my roommate to look at the television. He enjoys the clear shot of her backside, but demands for a close-up of her boobs. Actually, he said “Billie Piper, show me your tits.” He’s not an ass man. He should make an exception for Billie.