Watching on Fancast: Secret Diary of a Call Girl (Recap)

By Jen Smith
Fancast.com

Secret Diary of a Call Girl mostly shows the sanctity of Belle’s inner web. Sometimes, however, Belle and Hannah become confused. For instance, today Ben has graciously volunteered to excuse himself from best friend duties and play the role of Belle’s partner in an upcoming foursome she has scheduled. He insists that it couldn’t be that difficult because he, after all, has had sex before. She points out that it’s not professional sex, and that there’s a lot more to it than taking money, spreading her legs, and moaning a bit. After an adamant refusal, Hannah scours the internet to find her next foursome partner. The interview she conducts with the biggest potential turns out to be a stereotypical male escort who says the only thing he needs to bring to the table is about twelve inches. Yeah, well, that sounds like it would hurt somewhat.

[Video of Belle in action.]

So with no other options, she reconsiders Ben after he drops by her flat for more details about the position. It’s going to be a straight couple swap, just in and out (no pun intended. OK, total pun intended). He even insists that he can emotionally detach himself from the situation, which must make his fiancé feel much, much better. He also insists that he’s genuinely curious about what his friend does for a living and just wants to help her out. Guess what? Well, we had to expect that she’d cave. It makes the show more interesting. Next thing we know, they’re preparing for the big night. Ben gets his massive beauty treatment with the waxing and the lotion and whatnot, while Hannah whores herself out with makeup and hair and etc. They also have a nice little conversation about the bottom line, and upon revealing that she makes more than triple what he makes (despite the upkeep of makeup, underwear, and booze required for the job) he may be giving his current occupation a second thought. What he didn’t give a second thought was the Viagra she made him take. He wasn’t arguing on that one.

Showtime! Liam and Kate, who are celebrating a 15-year marriage anniversary, don’t want anything in particular except for perhaps a little lesbian action. They must get through the long…awkward…pauses first. The couple heads to the shower while Belle insists that she and Ben change their underwear. She thinks that their current underclothes don’t quite fit the couple. Just like old times, she and Ben strip naked and laugh and the effects of the Viagra. He won’t be laughing once I’m through with him. Anyway, after some brief girl-on-girl necking, Ben takes over for Belle and she moves over to Liam. More necking, etc. Bras are removed, etc. As Ben begins to reach for the condom, suddenly Liam seems to lose interest and rush over to nab his wife away from Ben. They proceed to get it on. Seems someone had a pang of jealousy. This leaves Belle and Ben. They must now pretend that they’re turned on by watching the married couple go at it, and the married couple tries to make sure that Belle and Ben are enjoying themselves immensely as well. Ben gets caught up in the moment and tries to convince Belle that they should screw. While whisper-arguing about it, Liam and Kate have simultaneous orgasms (lucky bastards) and the point is moot. Show’s over.

Once the couple is gone, Ben is convinced that her job is more difficult than he thought. It’s a total mindf**k, he says. Amen. At least he got £200 for almost having sex. If only I had a nickel for every time that happened to me… I would have a nickel.