Watching: Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood (recap)

By Jen Smith
Fancast.com

So how fabulously awesome was the season premiere of Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood? If you live in the Greater Los Angeles area, you might have seen some skywriting last week. It said “Welcome home Tori & Dean.” Ah yes, shameless promotion. Gotta love LA. So yeah, that’s the premise of this new season of Tori and Dean’s little reality show. They sold their inn and are moving back to the big city, mere months before she’s to welcome her second child into the world. And guess what? Drama will ensue.

Almost immediately we find out that Tori has written a book about her life. Oh here we go. Apparently there are some not-so-flattering facts about Mommy Dearest in there, which Tori’s nervous about. She doesn’t think her mom will understand it. You don’t say? Speaking of motherhood, Liam (otherwise lovingly referred to as Monkey—why? I don’t know) is growing like bamboo. And he’s cute as crap. After carefully concealing her baby bump in a frumpy coat (take that, paparazzi!) they’re all off to Dr. Silverman’s office to find out if they’re having a boy or girl. Tori’s desperate for a little girl, but she’s worried that Dean can only produce males. Apparently she wants to know what a real mother/daughter relationship is like. Wow, she’s not holding back on his whole Candy Spelling-is-the-worst-mom-ever thing. Let the water works flow, because she’s having a little baby girl (and if you’ve been following the news, she just had her last week!).

Tori loves attention, just not from paparazzi. So she’s working with a legitimate media outlet, People magazine, to announce her pregnancy. The whole family’s there on the beach in Malibu for this photo shoot… and I have to say, they’re all so pretty it hurts my eyes. Liam also hammed it up big-time for the camera. Do we have another little Tori or Aaron? After, Dean surprises Tori with a hideous Mohawk for his new movie filming in Canada, which he mentions about 40 times. She calls him a jerk. He leaves for Canada anyway.

So Dean is gone, and Tori is left with, like, 14 dogs and her baby and her gay husband. Time for something interesting to happen. Ding-dong! It’s the landlord. He’s selling the house and they have 30 days to leave. Unless they want to buy it… which she doubts they can afford. OK side note, it’s refreshing to see celebrities complaining about not being able to afford something. I can relate! She can’t afford a multi-million dollar home and I can’t afford multi-dozen dollar DVD box set of Doogie Houser, M.D.

Meanwhile in Canada, Dean meets his hero Ving Rhames and completes his transformation into a badass. He calls Tori who fills him in about the moving situation. She’s pissed cause, well, she’s kind of about to pop a kid out. That’s a bad time to think about moving. He pretty much tells her to handle it and gets back to work Yeah! You wear those pants, Dean! The rest of the show is Tori blabbering to a friend about her mom. She’s crying that Candy was always fighting with her for her dad’s attention and that put a rift in their relationship. She picks up the phone to call her mom to tell her about the book, which is due to be released soon, but she just can’t muster the courage to have a conversation with her. She even confides that her first marriage was her way of trying to get a closer bond with her mom but that it backfired. She just wants it all in the past. Amen, sister. Amen.