Grey’s Anatomy: Bitches

Remember how last week on ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ the Chief fired Derek and it seemed like a really big deal? This week, it is not even addressed. He’s just back at the hospital. Instead, the episode is all about Arizona, who proves that in large doses she is is every bit as annoying as Lexie.

Patient #1: Precocious Kid

A little boy patient, Wallace, pretends he is a doctor. I hate precocious TV kids, so this is going to be a tough episode for me. He has short gut syndrome, a severe intestinal disorder that should have killed him years ago. His parents want to give the Peds department 25 million dollars as thanks for their excellent treatment. Damn. If they have that kind of money to throw around, they should give it to the Mayo clinic or any other competently run hospital. The boy turns out to have a bowel obstruction. Arizona tells his parents that she doesn’t think he is strong enough for surgery. The father tells her he has to do surgery so he will have more time so she can find a cure. The Chief advises Arizona to do the surgery. They’ll find another doctor if she does not do it. So, last week he was against risky surgery. Now that there is money at stake he is all for it. At this point, I’m rooting for him to lose his license. She reluctantly agrees to do it. Wallace tells Arizona he is scared he is going to die. During the surgery Arizona voices her concern that the surgery is not a good idea. He survives the surgery. Arizona is upset that Callie wasn’t supportive enough. I love how people on this show demand constant hand holding. Is there anyone in real life who acts like this?

Wallace goes into septic shock. She tells the Chief to get the hell out of her OR because he makes her feel like she is operating on dollar bills. Wallace dies. She tells the Chief he needs to break the news to the parents because she will tell them she killed her son and he should sue. Arizona comes home and walks into a surprise birthday party. She bursts into tears and leaves. Jackson proves he’s a man after my own heart by drinking the free booze anyway. Jackson plants a kiss on Christina. She tells him she’s involved.

Arizona joins the Chief and the parents. The Chief overrules the administrator and lets Arizona stay. The family still is going to donate the money because of Arizona, not the Chief’s ass kissing. She and Callie exchange I love yous, which would be cool if I gave a damn about Arizona.

Patient #2: Precocious Teen

A girl, Hilary, has fallen off the roof and broken multiple bones. It turns out she was on shrooms. The girl is unapologetic when her parents find out. She’s an A student who miscalculated. Christina says she was very similar as a teenager. She was smart and thought it gave her the right to do whatever she pleased. During the operation, an air embolism develops in Hilary’s heart. Owen won’t let Yang do a procedure that will fix it because they are waiting for cardio. If there is a cardio surgeon on staff, why isn’t Christina getting to work on heart cases? Christina jumps in and does it anyway. It goes perfectly. Owen, the trauma surgeon who likes to shoot from the hip, is furious. He tells her he has to report the incident to the Chief. Christina and Owen’s argument interrupts Arizona and Callie’s. Owen warns Christina her luck is going to run out. After Owen and Arizona leave Christina says, “Bitches.” Thanks to Sandra Oh’s delivery, it’s the best moment of the episode. She says she’s done the procedure in front of the Chief. Jackson tells Christina she rocked it. Christina overhears Hilary talking to her dealer. She grabs the phone and says she’ll report her to the police. Christina tells her she’s only alive because she’s lucky. She needs to stop using and grow up. This patient really isn’t much of a parallel for Christina. She really didn’t go rogue; she knew how to do the procedure. Unless Owen is the drug dealer. He really seems to have lost all respect for Christina this season.

Patient #3: Potentially Precocious Preemie Doll

A pregnant woman was in a car accident. Her fetus had a stroke in utero, so they deliver the baby early. Meanwhile, the Chief tells Alex he’s responsible for Izzie’s medical bills. She owes 200 grand. I knew she should have kept Denny’s money. Alex is assigned to watch the preemie. Alex thinks it will only live another hour. He picks the tiny little thing - that is obviously a doll - up. Bailey points out that the baby’s heart rate is improving because he held her. She instructs him to take off his shirt so the baby can benefit from skin on skin contact. I approve of this blatant beefcake plotline. Bailey tells Alex he’d be good in peds. She says it twice because it’s Grey’s. Alex won’t leave the baby because he can’t do anything about Izzie and her 200 grand in medical bills, but he can help the little plastic doll. Reed joins him because she has a huge crush on shirtless Korev. Alex gives the baby to the Mom when she comes out of surgery.

Quotes

Have you started to lactate yet? - Derek, to Alex while he hold the preemie

Take off your shirt.- Bailey

No, you take off yours! - Alex

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