Last Night’s Crowned

Heaven help us, it was another episode of Crowned last night, but this time not as indelible as last week’s. Thankfully, several of the lady teams changed names, saving themselves from the embarrassment that is being named after a bodily function, but later being kicked off the competition after an underwhelming fitness performance. The other teams fared no better, with flimsy, weird poseur ninja, yoga and early 1980’s jazzercise moves, one after the other. Who in the name of god came up with this elimination round? Who was the genius that wowed the production brainstorming meeting with “I GOT IT! we’ll force the mother-daughter teams to challenge each other with a fitness-off, to the tune of wonderfully cheesy renditions of hits from the 90’s!”

If you didn’t watch it, you didn’t miss much. Amanda and Andrea were out, Angela talked smacked about Nicole and Jill’s noses, and Heather uttered to her mother “you let me down” for, uh, not being able to jump rope properly. Classic pageant behavior.

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