The Weekly 25

Because we haven’t posted any lists today (and lists are our friends after a night of too many glasses of wine at the Kung Pow Kitty) and after much deliberation at the KPK, we bring you the 25 uber-hotties whom Paris, Lindsay, Britney and Jessica S. haven’t yet sunken their fangs into. Why? Because last night someone told us they thought a list like this was impossible to create. So, assisted by our best intern/drinking partner Desiree, we went through hours of surveying friendly young Hollywood gals, just to say to the naysayers: you’re wrong! There are single eligible hotties out there who haven’t yet been touched by the fame-seeking, attention starved, beemer crashing celebutants of today. So good day sir. I said good day.

1. Milo Ventimiglia: Sexy hero guy
2. Ryan Gosling: Sexy notebook guy.
3. Seth Green: Sexy Family Guy, um, guy.
4. Jake Gyllenhal: Sexy brokeback guy.
5. George Clooney: Sexy older guy.
6. Leonardo Di’Caprio: Sexy departed guy.
7. Josh Hartnett: Sexy dahlia guy.
8. Emile Hirsch: Sexy boy-next-door guy.
9. Heath Ledger: Sexy aussie guy.
10. Ryan Reynolds: Van-Sexy guy
11. Mark Ruffalo: Sexy zodiac killer guy.
12. Casey Affleck: Sexy “the other Affleck” guy.
13. Benji Madden: Sexy rocker guy. Oh wait, he’s with that Sophie girl. Hussie.
14. Eric Dane: Sexy McDreamy.
15. Shia LaBeouf: Sexy McTransitioning-into-a-bad-boy guy.
16. Gael Garcia Bernal: Sexy motorcycle guy.
17. Vin Diesel: Sexy fast and furious guy?
18. Nick Cannon: Ok, I don’t even know who this guy is, guy.
19. Giovanni Ribisi: Sexy whiney guy.
20. Jason Lee: Sexy Scientologist guy. Oh wait. He’s married. Crap!
21. Julian McMahon: Sexy nip/tuck guy. Ew, that sounds gross.
22. Wentworth Miller: Sexy surfer guy.
23. William Hung: What? I was on my fourth glass of chardonnay; we were running low on hotties for this list.
24. M Shadows: Sexy Avenged Sevenfold guy.
25. Paul Walker: Is it just me or does his name remind you of an alcoholic drink?

(See? No Matt Damons on THIS list!)