Dancing With Your DVR: What To Watch Tonight

Keifer Sutherland is out of jail. Never mind the primaries. Isn’t this the news everyone has been waiting for? Apparently Jack Bauer’s 48-day stint in the joint went well. According to the Huffington Post, the River Queen (we had to get that title in as it’s so appropriate for prison, right?) star “spent most of his jail sentence by himself, interacting with fellow prisoners only when he was on the way to the laundry room where he worked cleaning sheets, pillowcases and blankets.”

Hey, that sounds like a week we once had at summer camp. Thank goodness those days are over. Tonight, following a big Sunday of football, we’re taking it easy, nursing bruises we got during the games fighting for the chips and dip. We only have two weeks to heal before the Super Bowl on February 3. Speaking of the Super Bowl, that means a) great commercials; b) Tom Petty playing at halftime; and c) hopefully Idol judge Paula Abdul singing and dancing with fellow Idol Randy Jackson.

If Abdul actually gets herself out there, it has the potential to be more entertaining than if Janet Jackson had pulled off her top and given Justin Timberlake a lap dance. We’ll have to wait and pray. In the meantime, we’re getting used to the last few drops of original TV programming driveling out of the tap, just as we got used to global warming. We will survive as long as our cable does! Here’s how we’re coping tonight:

Prison Break: (Fox, 8 pm) Keifer may be out of jail, but thank goodness Michael and his brother aren’t. All we can say is this show picked right back up once they got the boys back behind bars. Tonight, Michael’s escape plan falls apart, and we are thrilled.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: (Fox, 9 pm) Being on the run from killers in the future and cops in the present day sounds like the life story of Britney Spears, if killers is a euphemism for drug use, and cops are the fashion police. As for the fictional life of Sarah Connors, watch tonight as she meets a new friend who might be a link to Skynet. Plus John and Cameron start their first day of high school. That might be our favorite subplot of the year.

American Gladiators/Deal Or No Deal: (NBC 8 & 9 PM) Honestly, we didn’t expect to ever say this, but this two-hour block of programming is exciting, tense, scream-at-the-television entertainment. Is it us or had Deal gotten better? Maybe our tastes have changed. And then there’s the Hulkster. In an otherwise lackluster time of the year for new shows, kudos to the exec who thought of injecting the 8 o’clock hour with steroids. It works!

Life After People: (History, 9 pm) What will planet earth be like if human beings died off? We think about this more frequently than we should probably admit, though we’ll spare you the creepy details. We’re partial to the idea that New York’s skyscrapers would become vertical ecosystems. It reminds us of a project we did in fifth grade.Anyway this two-hour special is a lot smarter and more scientific. In case you missed last week’s airing, be sure to check it out tonight.

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations: Vancouver: (Travel, 10 pm) Tonight our favorite “Gastronomic Indiana Jones” cracks his culinary whip on the ever-expanding food and film scene of Vancouver.

October Road: (ABC, 10 pm) Oh the melodrama! Ray is putting the heat on Hannah to adopt Sam. But maybe there are more pressing questions he should be posing, like “how come your voice is so manly?” and “who is the real father of your baby?”