Comedy

The Funniest Sitcom (sneakily hiding inside of a drama)

It is a theatrical fact that people don’t actually like drama. Personally when anyone tries and start any type of drama around me I usually stick something rather sharp through something rather vital on them. People just pretend to like drama in order have an excuse to watch more sex, violence and other things that civilizations find appalling. Trust me, without sex and violence, your “civilization” would be a fossilized single-celled organism.

Now, due to increased competition from reality television and regular old reality the number and degree of titillating devices has become ridiculous. The result of this is something that people actually do enjoy. Comedy.

Hands down the funniest dramas on television are on CBS, my home for unintentional comedy. The tip top, hip pop, clip chop, quip cop of the crop is of course C.S.I. Miami.

The star of the show is David Caruso, hands down the best straight man straight man in the business. The business I’m speaking of, of course, is the Extreme Over-Acting Business. Which I hear is a tough business to watch usually. Ninjas, of course, have a form of over-acting that can induce annaferristic shock, which we do by putting on performances that are so horrible that people are unable to move…and then we kill them. But, Caruso gives us a run for our blood money. He speaks at roughly 4 words per minute and has yet to ever actually look at any actor who has been in a scene with him. And, when you roll all that Carusalafragilousiexpedalidociousness up in a ball with the most unbelievable (as actors or crime scene investigators) cast the show becomes offensively hilarious. Aside from the laughable hot factor, I haven’t seen less facial movement since I went to see the Country Bear Jamboree concert at Disneyland. I’m a big fan…of musical furred mammals, not doll-like stillness. I have to assume they shoot all of the actors in the face with botox before each take. It’s creepy. Funny creepy. Like vampires. In addition to the robotic acting the show is pieced together like photographs of Steven Wright’s comedy taken by David Hockney. It’s just randomly cut together, awkwardly edited wide shots of Miami and extreme close-ups of evidence. A crime is committed, forty minutes of montage, somebody gets caught. The feather in the cap, though, that pushes C.S.I, Miami to comic genius is the technology. God himself could not find some of the clues these folks find on a weekly basis. Fingerprints off of a grain of salt dropped it the ocean…no problem. Also, in the history of the show, no murderer has ever thought of disposing of the murder weapon. If you can watch this episode without laughing while screaming the phrase “oh, come on!” then you are an idiot.