Comedy

Fists of Funny

You know a lot of people say that laughter is the best medicine, but I say it’s also a pretty darn good weapon. When a ninja comic says he kills, he means it. He actually took a life (or twelve) with his comedy. The only way I can describe killing with laughter is that it’s like strangling someone without touching them. Very ninja. You’re infiltrating their mind and tricking it into doing all sorts of things that can cause death. Convulsions, erratic breathing, rapidly increased heart rate. And, if those things don’t kill you the loud noises and the peeing of pants are great for attracting big cats, wolves and extremely large hawks.
That’s why most other animals don’t laugh. It’s a death sentence. Just trying telling a king cobra a joke. They may have heatvision, but they have no sense of humor whatsoever. He will bite your neck. It’s not that animals don’t get it, they can’t get it. Evolution has weeded out laughter from pretty much every creature. Even hyenas. They are not laughing at you or with you. They know that laughter is contagious and do it only to lure you out and hopefully make you drop your baby. Point is if you want to do something that could very well save your life, stop laughing and learn how to use it as a weapon.

Step 1: You can’t find anything funny. Nothing. That’s like a boxer punching himself in the face (which is very hard for a dog, but also stupid). The best training ground for this is West Virginia. They think pretty much everything is a “hoot.”

Step 2: Timing. Like with all weapons, when you use them is just as important as how you use them. Poorly timed humor is like a poorly deep-fried turkey, it burns down your house and kills your uncle.

Step 3: Practice. You never know when you’re going to need to pull out some laughter and beat something to death with it, so you have to keep your skills fresh. Jokes get old, become offensive or don’t work with all audiences. You have to be able to kill in any room. I suggest training in the middle of the Amazon Rain Forest. If you can make a tree laugh, especially considering the hard times they’re having these days, you can make anything laugh.

Here are three clips from Saturday Night Live that I don’t find funny…anymore. I challenge you to not laugh at them. I also encourage you to post clips that you find funny to aid others in their training.

Phillip

Everyone’s A Critic

MacGruber