SciFi/Fantasy

Never Terminate The Show, Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles

Okay, I think we need to talk about robots for a minute here. There are a lot of them around these days and they’ve got some not very human-friendly ideas up their impenetrable, metallic sleeves. What we, meaning people who want to stay alive, should NOT be doing is giving them good ideas. This is why I love the series Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles and why I think you should too, whether you like it or not.

I have a sneaking suspicion (to be honest, since I’m a ninja, all of my suspicions are rather sneaky) that robots are learning from us about how they should or could behave. So therefore it is everyone’s responsibility to make ridiculous and illogical robot-themed entertainment as popular as possible. “A bad idea is good in the hands of your enemy” – Black Ice, ninja. For instance, if robots are taking their cues from The Sarah Conner Chronicles, we’ll just fine.

First off, the poorly defined rules of Cameronian time travel are a great distraction. The more vague we are about why the robots didn’t travel further back or why they didn’t send a huge robot army and start the war earlier or why they didn’t go into the future and get even more advanced technologies from the next gen robots and then take that back, the better off we’ll be. The biggest thing we want to avoid is them figuring out that linear time does not exist. That would be bad. Like waking up as part of a gelatinous battery transducer bad.

Secondish, keep them thinking that dressing up as humans is a great idea. We don’t want them catching on to the fact that we are constantly building robots to do all the things are stupid bodies can’t. The more we promote blending into our population is more effective than sending back giant, heavily armored spider-bots with opposable thumbs, the better. Trust me, you put thumbs on a spider, everything changes.

Thirdlike, Get them caught up in that juicy, dramatic, passion-filled storyline. Heck they might put of the uprising for four or five years if we can keep that thing interesting. Every season should end with the most potent cliffhanger available. Now, there are mathematical quantifications for all human emotions. Ninjas figured them out a long time ago and we are safeguarding them in an undisclosed parallel universe. The robots will eventually process them and realize that all scenarios of human interaction are inversely futile squared. Until then, we need as many dream sequences as possible. And, keep up those long close ups with no dialogue or discernable emotion. They are very confusing to me so, I can only imagine how they can goof up a binary thinking.

I have nincoded this blog so that it is only readable by fully organic mammals.